SELF-CONFIDENCE

 WHAT ARE THE WAYS TO DEVELOP SELF-CONFIDENCE?

     Self-confidence is literally "self", that is, one's confidence on itself. Whether the person is satisfied with itself as a result of its evaluation about itself is a concept about whether he/she sees itself physically and psychologically enough. The fact that one is satisfied with itself, and that its presence feels meaningful is an indication that its self-esteem and self-confidence are high. Self-confidence is the most important psychological feature that determines how a person will relate to people, what role and power they will assume in this relationship. The wrong expression, "No self-confidence" is used among people. Such a thing is out of the question. We can only define this as having low or high self-confidence. Many of us have problems such as stage phobia, crowd speech phobia, the problem of not expressing themselves to people, and even giving up the truth. It can be thought that the basis of these problems is the suppression of the person itself or someone else and being blocked the discovery of its activities. Stimulating phrases like "Don't touch!", "Don't!" Or "You don't understand!" Are these sentences familiar to all of us, right? They also have the dimension "I can't do it", "I am not able to do it." As you see, the stimulant sentences in the first examples are the ones that people around us spend against us, and the negative conditioning sentences in the other examples are the ones we use ourselves. Now I want to give an example that we all suffer. It is obvious that we have a general problem as a Turkish society with a foreign language. We agree here. But have you ever wondered why? Yes, there may be some systemic issues at the root of the problem, but is that the only problem? Which one of us, when trying to speak a foreign language in society, does not disturb the question of "Would I be disgraceful?" or which of us did not experience the uneasiness of a presentation that we should make in middle school or high school, a poem that we should read? Which of us didn't feel like a dying duck when he/she went out of hometown for education for the first time?

        We have all been exposed to events or expressions I have mentioned above in some stages of our lives. Even now, we still have those who are exposed to these situations. So how do we overcome these problems? This is completely in our hands. First of all, we must believe in ourselves. This is the most crucial point. What could be the worst? What would be the worst if you were disgraced trying to speak a foreign language? What happens if you mix the poem you should read with excitement and read it wrong? You live this life for yourself, not for another. How long do you think the reactions, states and actions of the third parties will remain on their agenda? Actually, these are not things we do not know. We are all aware of these. However, the procrastination situation and negligence that we all have prevented us from developing and thinking about this competence.

All of us exposed to the circumstances or expressions that I mentioned blow in some points of our lives. Even right now some of us still exposed to these cases. So, how do we deal with this problems? It’s all in our hands. First of all, we should believe in ourselves. This is the hitting point.What could be the worst? What would be the worst if you were disgraced while trying to speak foreing language? What happens if you stir the poem that you read and read it wrong because of you are excited? You are living this life for yourself, not for someone else. How long do you think the reactions and thoughts of third parties about you will remain on their minds? Actually, these are not the things that we don’t know. We all are aware of this. But, postponement and letting go of everything situations that we all have is preventing us to improve our competence. 

        We have touched on some points about self-confidence. Now let's talk a little bit about ways to improve it. Actually, there are many methods for this. We can even create our own methods. First of all, we should feel comfortable. Nobody is waiting for us to make a false statement or make a wrong move to laugh. We don't need to do delusions. We should never refrain from stating, defending, or even persuading the other party, as needed, where necessary. We should stop comparing ourselves to someone else. Because when we compare ourselves with the people around us, we see ourselves lower or higher than some people. The important thing here is that we are the best of ourselves, not whether we are good or bad from someone else. Sometimes we find ourselves inadequate and lousy in the face of certain situations and events. What we should do here is not to abuse but to evaluate. We should think about how we can realize our deficiencies and develop ourselves accordingly. Let's not forget that no one is perfect. It is an indicator of virtue and self-confidence to take lessons after the mistakes to be experienced, to try to prevent them from happening again and to accept our mistake as the most important issue. So never be afraid to make mistakes!

If we give more specific suggestions to increase our self-confidence;

• Discover your positive aspects.

• Set goals for yourself in life and list the goals you have achieved.

• Force yourself to be positive on your negative internal conversations.

• Cut the process leading to your goals into small pieces. So make your works easier for you and enjoy the success.

• Pay attention to your appearance, clothing and personal care.

• Have an upright posture and sitting.

• Learn to file your perfectionist personality.

• Get hobbies and make friends that will make you feel valuable.

• Give up your devastating criticism of yourself and think constructively.

• Accept positive feedback against you and return in the same way.

        One of the most important ways to improve our self-confidence is to transfer information to ourselves from outside. In fact, we can say that the more he/she knows, the more confident he/she is. When a conversation is startedabout a subject we dominate in our friendship environments, we all know how much our confidence has increased. Because it is a situation we all like to be able to make people listen to ourselves, more importantly, to be listened in an astonishing way, to be appreciated in this direction. Then we should see our world as an immense sea and see us as a fisherman with a fishing rod. How much we can use these opportunities is entirely in our hands. Learn history, psychology, your religion or even other religions, read personal development books, magazines, watch movies that can add something to you, go to theaters, visit different cities, countries, learn different cultures. Realize your skills and deficiencies and lead your life accordingly. In line with all this, you will see that you will become a more constructive and logical thinker. Remember, development begins in the head, believe in yourself first and then look your way and never stop researching, learning, personal development. There is that person who shows that he/she is confident even with his/her walk, and that he/she admires everyone with his/her speech, behavior and actions, you may be that! Let's get to work as soon as possible.